Journal entry from a "self diagnosed" care-taker.

Just over two years ago, I embarked on a "journey" to discover the "price of Nice" Below is a excerpt from my journal. 

"My being lies heavy under the demands of others…the endless expectation, I am shackled and bound by duty and guilt, no matter how much I do, it is never enough. Some one always feels put out and my failing is white noise which screeches and rips through my whole being….I am so preoccupied with my service to others, my own wishes and needs have been long forgotten. I rarely know what I feel about anything , decision making is a source of huge anxiety. I am so detached from my needs that the idea of asserting them feels like an overly ambitious task. I am a puppet, my strings are pulled by everyone around me and in my show, I have lost myself. Of my many masks, I am uncertain which one is true. When did I lose my voice? Did I ever have one? Like a performing spaniel, I have become So habituated to satisfying the needs of others I have become completely detached from my own. "

I would love to hear your own experiences, please comment below if you can relate in any way or have been on your own journey of dislodging, or attempting to, a destructive behavior/pattern etc.